Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Part II

 She is smile, almost never mourns, not even at the needed times. She keeps things to herself and she loves it when the tip of her hair is wet, she said it makes her feel sexy. 22 Years and love thing had never gotten into her mind, probably because she had a lot of good friends around her, probably because she never was in need of an exceptional attention. She did love her best friend but when she knew things were not going to work, she stepped back. She was SHE. She listened to people, their views, their side of stories but at the end, she did what she felt was right. But people at times assumed she did things what others say. That was not true. She followed her heart when it was about love and when it was not, she had her mind to make out what was right and not.

She loved the stars, and how visible it got by the time darkness started to fall. She said, just as her, the stars looked down at her and they loved how she looked up on them. When she had no one to talk to, she’d go to the stars and share her secrets. That is why whenever she looked up at the stars, she would smile because she knew; no one knew her well more than the twinkling ones up there. She wrote poems, a line or two when her mind didn’t work because that was when her heart spoke and that actually made her feel quite light within. She was a bit weird in her own way. Young at heart and she believed life is to be lived, every single moment and make it a memory to look back and feel good about.

You know one thing about her? About how hesitant she was. As much as outgoing, cheerful, she was more than that, an obstruction of hesitance. She loved this guy so hard but she never found the urge to tell him that. And I don’t think she had actually used that “Love” word to confess her feelings to him, to anyone ever. And that night when he said he loved her, she was overwhelmed. She thought he really loved her, when in fact he was just as confused, when in fact he was in love with that moment, the ride back home late night. Maybe for him, Love was just another feeling that happened again, another season or a cup of coffee. But to her, she was in love with him, with the one who said he loved her.

The love seed reaped in an instant, without sheer notice.
Well in fact, a bud, ombre peach colored bloomed. She saw it already, their love in the form of a flower, from the seed he sowed, and with the tender affection she nurtured.


But did I tell you she had a problem? She got attached too fast and when she found this guy, she instantly knew she couldn’t leave him. He wasn’t the guy she’d dreamt of, not the one with long curly hair. Let alone, he didn’t even play guitar and their genre of songs totally collapsed. While she listened to the Beatles, he hummed those sentimental nepali numbers but one thing she died head over heels for him was the fact that he could sing, songs that only she could hear. He was funny, full of joy and most of all, he made her happy. She knew a lot about him, his past which was not at all pretty but that didn’t bother her. And one day, this guy asked her, “you know all my dark secrets and yet you choose to stand by me but why?” in which she gave him a wide smile and she spoke to herself “It is because I am just too busy living this moment and making memories of us. Your past is past but your present is here with me and I want it to be the best and I want it to matter.”

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Part I ...

                                                       ----Story “A”----

They started off with a simple hi. It was raining and he was all drenched the first time she saw him, or they saw each other, the otherwise.   She reckoned it was his very effortless smile that probably got them to the climax where they are now.

                                                        ----Story “B”----

4 years and soon-to-be-five, she was in love with her guy-best-friend.  It was in fact the first time she has ever loved someone. But despite the love she had for her friend, she knew they were never possible. She knew two of them could never be together.  She buried his foul secrets, lived as his friend for years but like every beautiful thing comes to an end, her feelings came to a point where she knew, she couldn’t take it any further. She was done being his friend. She was done pretending to be what they were not. They were just best friends, nothing more, and sometimes less, and it quite saddened her.

She was sad because her first love never happened. Her first love was pretty poignant, turned out the other way of what she thought it was.

                                                      ----Story “A”----

And the rain brought them together. She never believed in first sight but she believed in glances… and that just one view she saw in him was enough to let her know that an adventure was on the line... And maybe she found it in this guy.  
Perks of having mutual friends, they caught up often for lunch, chitchats or just like that in groups and always ended up in each other’s company.  She liked it. And it seemed he shared the mutual feeling.
Days passed, weeks and by almost a month, they began to find comfort in each other’s company. For the ever first time, she opened up her inner self and told him what haunted her inside, the reason to why she was low most of the times. He was there to listen and she felt herself in his company.
Her feelings for her best friend began to make less impact on her, not that those feelings started to vanish; just she had someone to pour the burden when that feeling came by and it was that guy she clicked with.

                           

                             ------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

I could never tell him
how much he means to me
Is it the words that lacked
or the rejection I fear to see...


......

Listening to this old bollywood track,
relating myself to the lyrics,
wondering, how true? :)

and isn't it wonderful, how someone else can sum up words that you have just lost...
words that you failed to gather ..

what is more wonderful is to know that, its just not you with the feeling..let it be good, bad, sadness-filled or the happy ones..

and I, what makes me happy is when I find someone with whom I could talk to about myself...
someone with whom I can BE myself...and need not be scared of being judged...
if you know what I mean?

Not that I have the dustiest corners in me or the darkest secrets but I am such an INTROVERT..
you got it right, THE introvert, that I hardly share people about my personal life.....

----contd!

Friday, September 6, 2013

and I wonder why did I even give him my whole strength
that he has turned himself into my weakness?